Get Over Yourself... We're Only Disabled! Part 20
Get Over Yourself... We're Only Disabled!
We have feelings!
Of course we all have feelings, but sometimes people can say things that they don't mean anything by. However, just a few words can make people feel down about themselves, whether it’s about their disability or not. We have the same feelings as everyone else but we may need support to express and channel our feelings in the right way, so we don't feel overly upset or anxious.
Sometimes for people with a disability, feelings and behaviours change quickly during the day. People should respect an individual’s feelings and support them in whatever mood they are in. It is good for people to encourage happy and positive feelings as this makes a person comfortable to be able to discuss their feelings and emotions with them whenever they feel is necessary. This would help the person to feel supported and understood.
Feelings can be projected onto another person when they are being spoken about. This can make them feel like they are not as important in the conversation. This has happened to me quite a lot. For example, people have asked my Mum, family member or carer how I am, without directing the question to me. This annoys the person who I am with because they know that I understand everything and they want to do the best for me and this makes me want to work harder to be understood. This happens a lot when I’m shopping, such as when I was buying something once and the shopkeeper gave my change to my boyfriend, who said “It’s her change, not mine!” This makes me feel sad because I don’t feel that I’m important. I have a voice and I like to use it. When people ask whoever is with me to answer for me, I feel I’m not understandable or valued. Sometimes it is good to have somebody to be able to clarify what is said if the person hasn’t picked it up but I don’t like it when the conversation excludes me. This doesn’t help develop my independence or my speaking practice.
With my disability, I suffer from anxiety, so my feelings can be very varied depending on what mood I am in. I sometimes feel ashamed of my feelings and actions but often I can't stop myself from getting panicky and flustered. It doesn't feel nice to be like this but I know this does happen and I just need to work through it and calm myself down. I am just a worrier and I get nervous easily.
Everyone has their own emotions towards different situations. Our feelings are connected with how we deal with things. People have their own way of dealing with things. A good way of understanding people’s feelings is to talk to them and be patient and compassionate to show them that you care and want to support. The best thing you can do is make the person as happy and relaxed as possible. When we are in a good mood, we are more likely to be more positive about our disability. I feel when I am positive I am able to do things a lot easier. I need to be in the right frame of mind to be able to achieve my goals.
Everyone, disabled or not, has different feelings and attitudes towards certain things and this is perfectly normal. Just support us in the best way possible and this helps us to develop and manage our emotions and feelings in a positive and constructive way independently.
Linking back to the title of this chapter, we have different feelings and emotions towards everything we face through day-to-day life, whether we are disabled or not, we will still have emotions attached to different things or people so people around us should be aware of our thoughts and feelings. As I said before, this allows the person to feel supported and happy.
Thank you for reading and I hope you have enjoyed this chapter.
Abbie xx
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