Get Over Yourself ... We're Only Disabled! Part 1
Get Over Yourself ... We're Only Disabled
Hey my lovely readers... Hope you are well.
All about me: Abbie Smart
Hi, my name is Abbie Smart. I was diagnosed with quadriplegic Cerebral Palsy at the age of one, after I had a fit when I was born. It was recognised because I wasn’t reaching my milestones, such as crawling, walking at all or talking as well as I should have been. I am a wheelchair user and I use a walker. I drive my own wheelchair and have done since I was 6 or 7 years old. I attended mainstream primary and secondary school and have achieved 5 GCSEs and an A level. I live at home with my parents, sister and brother. When I was 19 years old, I moved to National Star College to gain independence and encourage me to learn life skills. My parents have always supported me and given me everything that I required to help me to get on in life. Now at 21 years old, I am becoming more and more independent and doing things that I would never have dreamt of.
I wanted to write this book to show people that, even though we are disabled, we are still human and we have every right to do what we want to do (within reason!). I feel that people with disabilities are all given the same label and able bodied people think we can’t do things. However, with the right support and stimulation, we can have great ideas and achieve lots of things. With the amazing care, love and support from my parents, family, boyfriend, carers, therapists and friends, I have achieved some amazing goals and I will not let anything or anyone stop me from keeping going. Life will always be difficult but I want to ensure that, now, every time you see a disabled person or you know someone who’s disabled, you don’t pity them - smile and encourage them to keep going and do their very best. Keep on reading this book to find out all of the excellent things disabled people can do.
I hope you enjoy my book.
Abbie x
Chapter 1
Talk to us, not over us and not for us
Well, I can't explain how much I love this chapter title, ‘Talk to us, not over us and not for us’. Many people with disabilities communicate in unique and special ways that allow them to get their message across. This might include speech, sign language, gestures, assistive technology or through facial expressions/eye movements. Whatever the method, people must make time and allowances for the person to be able to get their message across.
Experiences I have of this are that people think because I’m in a wheelchair, I don't understand what they’re saying and so they talk to the person who is with me, instead of me. This frustrates me a lot because I know how to communicate with someone and how to hold a conversation. I like it when people take the time to have a conversation with me and take the time to allow me to answer them back. They might not understand a few words that I have said at first but I repeat myself or use my communication aid to support my speech and I’d say that 90% of the time, the person has understood what I’ve said after the first or second time of me saying what I wanted to say.
Whatever allows people to get their message across and get the correct response is key. It would help greatly if people gave an individual time and the correct resources to support them to communicate as easily as possible. People with speech disorders might rely on different ways of speaking; this might mean for some people being able to use their voice, or for others they might be reliant on a communication device. I can communicate using my voice, however, I have ‘speech assist’ on my iPad for the times when people struggle to understand me. I always try to speak but my iPad is like my final destination. This doesn't bother me because I like to make sure that the person has understood what I have said. I don't like to leave a conversation with the person unsure of what I’ve said and I hate people to feel guilty or sad because they weren't able to have the connection they wanted to have with me.
Sometimes, I think people are scared or worried about what to say to a disabled person, but I always say to people just talk to us like any other person! Some people might not be able to respond or might take a while to respond but they are listening and responding in their own way. I have come across lots of individuals that can talk and lots that can't; we try to make the best of what we have and use the tools that we have to be able to connect. I really love meeting people like this as it allows me to form a special bond between different individuals. I feel lucky to be able to have a connection with lots of people with different types of communication.
I think that if the whole world communicated in the same way, the world would be a very boring place. We need a variety of ways to speak to keep us interested and wanting to learn more about each other. It’s a bit like when people learn a different language because they want to communicate with people in another country. We talk the same language but might sound different because of accents or a language barrier, yet we still mean the same thing.
Going back to the title of this chapter, try not to talk for us just because it might be quicker or easier. Let us have a go - we might ask for support but always encourage us to communicate in our own way. This a great way for us to have the real life practice that we need. Talk to us, not over us and not for us!
So, this is the end of the first chapter. I hope you enjoyed reading it. I am going to post chapter 2 next Friday.
Thank you for taking the time to read and enjoy this series of blogs.
Abbie xx
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